Saturday, June 26, 2004

I'm like an 18 year old middle-aged man

I recently started working third shift, which wasn't too big of a change for me. Since my average bedtime while on second shift was 5 a.m. I figured an extra hour and a half of consciousness wouldn't be a big deal. Then I remembered all of my stupid sleeping problems.
The problems stem from when I was still living at home, I slept on the bed from hell. The bed wasn't hellish in and of itself, but my stupid back problems plus the mildly uncomfortable bed created the beginning of the aforementioned stupid sleeping problems (I slept on the damn thing for approximately 16 years). My only refuge was the couch in the living room. The couch was the only place in my house where I could lay comfortably, until my parents decided the room needed a stylistic overhaul and gave it away in favor of a hard-as-a-board and too-short-to-lay-on love seat and two chairs (sacrificing function in favor of form). Why would anyone prefer a love seat and two odd chairs?
Suddenly I had no suitable resting place at all! Imagine having a life. Now imagine that your life is TOTALLY UNCOMFORTABLE!
When I moved to Grand Rapids 3 months ago, I bought a futon. Futons are cheap, and can magically turn into a sofa, so of course, it was the smart decision. I knew I was making a good choice when it came to comfort, afterall, I had laid on my brother's futon for all of 5 seconds and it seemed comfortable. I was wrong. Even after purchasing a neato memory foam mattress pad, I can still feel the bars underneath.

Flash forward to today. I get out of work at 6:00 a.m. Since I started my new shift, I've been progressively staying up later and later. Its currently 9:18 a.m. and I'm still wide awake.
On Thursday, I gave up on the concept of "normal" sleep, and just decided not to sleep at all. I came home, laid down for a hour, and got up.
A miracle! I came home on Friday morning and after 35 hours, slept for an astonishing 14 hours.
I now have in my possession a totally comfortable couch (bought for $10), a couch that could easily beat up any given futon, love seat or odd chair. When I close the door to the bedroom, the rest of the apartment is as dark as night. 24 hour darkness has always been a dream of mine which proves to me that dreams do come true. I still stay up too late, and my back still hurts, but at least I have something comfortable to go lay on.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

A lack of substance: writing about writing

So I realize, now, one week after starting this blog, I have nothing substantial to write about. After numerous brainstorming sessions, short drives, swinging, fishing, sleeping, showering and many other writers block remedies failed to help me out, I came up with some pointers to help me to create a quality blog. A starting point.

1. Fiction is good.
It seems that I’m not the Josiah I used to be. The old me wrote about anything and everything, my walls were covered with random phrases, (phrases I came up with when I was by a wall). I had those special crayons that would wash off of the side of the bathtub, incase I wanted to write in the shower. Every time I came into contact with a pretty girl, I would write on her and she would run away…. So I just stopped writing. Interesting eh? IT WAS ALL FICTION!! Sadly, my fictional life is much more interesting that my non-fictional life.

2. Avoid unnecessary drama caused by writing about people. If anyone is familiar with “Xanga”, it’s a web log community that seems to be designed to hurt peoples’ feelings, or to tell people how they’ve hurt yours (at least in the local xanga community). It seems that everyone who writes purposely writes about someone else, knowing full well that the “someone” in question has a subscription to, or is a regular viewer of said xanga. It forms a circle. Before you know it, the internet is making you cry, and that’s not very cool. People forgot how to deal with their serious personal problems and started discarding them on the internet, yes, the public internet.

3. Don’t purposely misspell things. A couple misspellings here and there are nothing to scoff at, but when you start typing “ur” instead of “you are”, “your” or “you’re, you’re crossing a line. Soon we will all forget how cool the word “your” looks! Just stare at it for awhile and you’ll understand why “UR” is such a horrible “word”. I guess that’s it for pointers

I seriously lack when it comes to keeping anyone’s attention, however, I’m very good at giving my attention to someone who says something purely intriguing. For example, just yesterday, I was talking to a friend and she started off her sentence with “I read a good article in the New Yorker today”. After hearing this one little statement, I realized how uncultured and lazy I am. She read The New Yorker, where as I slept all day. I don’t read anything, let alone The New Yorker! Maybe it’s just the sophisticated sounding title, or maybe I just realized that people I know read The New Yorker and I don’t. Maybe it all subliminally tied in with my writing dilemma. She reads The New Yorker and she happens to be a really good writer. I know now what I have to do.

The same thing goes with comedic effect. I lack the comedic genius to make anyone come back to this page in hopes of laughing again, if they ever did in the first place. Another friend once made the statement “fork in anus is the new cellar door”…………How can I compete with that? How can anyone compete with that?

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

the integrity league

hello, I am josiah, welcome to my blog